What's quickly apparent about the four Welch siblings in their powerful new memoir, "The Kids Are All Right," is that these are "kids" in age only.
Ages 4 to 16 when their father died in a car crash, Amanda, Liz, Dan and Diana Welch learned one month later that their mother, soap opera star Ann Williams, who appeared in "Loving," "The Edge of Night" and countless other soaps, has been diagnosed with cancer.
The "kids" quickly take on adult roles -- driving without a license to shop for groceries, helping chose their father's coffin, paying back their cheapskate uncle for the cost of burying their mother, cleaning their mother's colostomy bags.
The Childbirth Education Doll, made by Sharon Coleman (etsy)
The Childbirth Education Doll has caused a bit of controversy, with some saying that they found the doll to be too, well, creepy. ParentDish spoke with Sharon Coleman, the doll's designer, via e-mail about her creation.
ParentDish: Why did you create this doll? Sharon Coleman: I created this doll as an educational tool for my three-year-old daughter while I was pregnant with her little sister. Since my children are planned home births, the older siblings are present during the births.
My little brother's name is Precious. He's starting school next month and I am scared of what other people will say about him. When he gets older I am so sure that he is going to get teased about his name. Our parents are Nigerian so our middle name and our last name are Nigerian names. Please help me help him to deal with it. Do you have any tips?
- Big Sister
You're a caring sister, and it's tough when you see a problem that your parents don't. For centuries, immigrant families like yours have grappled with names that don't fit in smoothly to American culture. The good news is that in most cases, it's getting easier -- Americans today are more open to diverse names than ever before.
I wish I could reassure you that Precious is just another part of our multicultural name tapestry...but you know better. You wrote to me for a reason. Your brother's problem isn't that his name sounds foreign. It's that his name is foreign, but just sounds silly (and feminine to boot).
For those of you thinking "silly is right," here's a little global perspective. Words with uplifting spiritual meanings are as used as names around the world. Americans are accustomed to Joy and Hope, and to Spanish names like Consuelo ("consolation") and Cruz ("cross"). In parts of Africa, names like Precious, Gracious and Rejoice are common choices. Sounds reasonable in that context, right? But here in the U.S.A., a boy called Precious may as well be Sweetpea or Honeybunch.
I assume that you've already raised this issue with your parents, if you feel you can. So what can you do as a sibling to help prepare your brother for life as a Precious? The best thing is to be honest with him. You can warn him that his name will attract attention, but also give him tips on how to respond to that attention. If he can laugh along with jokes and wear his name with pride, confidence and good humor, he may be able to find the coolness in sounding different.
For a backup plan, you can try to equip him with a nickname. If he does end up uncomfortable introducing himself as Precious, a nickname that already feels like part of him can be a useful alter ego. Going by his initials, or "Prez," or even his Nigerian middle name doesn't have to be a rejection of the name your parents lovingly gave him. It's just one more piece of a full, rich personal identity.
Have you dealt with difficult names? Share your experiences! And if you have your own question to Ask the Name Lady, drop her a line!
Do siblings always have to do the same things? Credit: AshD23, Flickr
"How bad is it to leave one child out?," a mommy blogger wrote via email. "I have many friends that won't have play-dates or sleep overs for one without making plans for the other. I think it works against them, because the kids get so coddled and learn that everything has to be even."
Does everything always have to be even among siblings? To find out, I called my friend and Mommy Advisor Rosanne Tobey, director of Calm and Sense Therapy, a counseling service.
"I agree with this mom," Tobey said. "There's not necessarily anything wrong with trying to keep things equal when they're too young to understand. Otherwise you're going to end up with constant tantrums. But by kindergarten or first grade, kids can start to understand that the world isn't even all the time."
Here are Tobey's tips on how to keep the peace when things aren't equal:
Have special time with the "left-out" child. When one sibling gets invited to a party and the other doesn't, try to make time to focus on that child so she feels special. But Tobey warns, don't oversell your at-home activities -- as in, "We'll have the most fun at-home day ever!" -- or you'll be setting yourself up for failure.
Explain the situation in terms that make sense to a child. "Tell your child that she wasn't invited because she isn't in the birthday girl's class or isn't her age, not because they aren't friends, which can hurt your child's feelings."
Sympathize with your child. "It's okay to say, 'I can see you're disappointed. I would be, too. What can we do that's fun together?'" Make sure you don't trivialize her feelings. Allow her be sad about it. "If your child is sad or angry about not being invited, that's okay." She's learning that life isn't always fair, which isn't a fun lesson.
Encourage siblings to develop separate friends. They will come to expect that they won't always be invited to the same parties. "They'll learn to develop a little independence from their sibling."
So is it bad to leave one child out if the other sibling gets invited to a party? It's okay to let her feel disappointed and to help her work through those feelings. "I don't think it's terrible to keep things even," added Tobey. "But if you keep trying to make everything perfectly even, as the kids get older, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of "gotcha" from the kids; they'll always find a way to think things are uneven." Instead, help your kids develop by experiencing the disappointment, recovering from it and developing resilience.
Have you had a less-than-perfect parenting moment and you're wondering, "How bad"? Send it to Sabrina at PrincessLPink9@aol.com. She'll try to answer as many as she can.
Sabrina Weill is the founder of the pink, princess-y gift site: PrincessLovesPink. Many of the Mommy Advisors in this column are the writer's personal or professional friends.
Is sibling rivalry a crime? Image: sanja gjenero/sxc.hu
For the most part, growing up with a sister close to my own age meant always having a friend close by. She was someone I could play with, confide in, and side with against our older brother. But she was also a handy target when I was feeling mad, frustrated or just looking for a fight. When we weren't happily playing side by side, we were taping a line down the center of our shared bedroom and daring the other to cross it.
As with many sisters, ours was a love-hate relationship that occasionally boiled over into actual physical aggression. We never seriously injured one another, but we definitely had some hands-on disagreements that usually ended with one or both of us being punished.
Spending one-on-one time with your kids can ease sibling rivalry. Photo courtesy sxc.hu.
Before my second child was born last August, I had oodles of one-on-one time with my beloved older daughter. In fact, I am hard-pressed to believe there was ever a child more doted on than mine. That's why I fretted almost daily about the fact that I wouldn't have time to focus on her and her alone.
Then I discovered Christina Refford's blog, Fairly Odd Mother. Refford, mother to three, set out to spend more quality time with her kids on an individual basis, and created "date nights" for each of them. Refford, who home-schools her kids, also works part-time. Her husband also works, and goes to school at night. In a March 30 post titled "Is There Enough Time To Go Around?" she outlines her worries about the amount of quality time she spends with each child: "This might strike you as odd, but I worry that I'm not spending enough time with the kids. I don't mean as a group, which is how we do things around here. Every. Single. Day. I mean one-on-one time. Just Mama and Child A. Or B. Or C. That kind of dedicated time with each child on their own just doesn't happen right now."
Despite their hectic schedules, Refford and her husband now manage to spend alone time with each of their three kids -- Isabel, 8, Jillian 6,and Dante, 4 -- at least once a month. How does she manage? Dinner dates. I mean, everyone has to eat dinner, right?
Hey, all you little brothers and sisters! Looking for ammunition against your parents? It's your lucky day -- a new study out of Brigham Young University shows that first-born kids get as much as 30 minutes more quality face-time with mom and dad than do second children.
Most birth-order research focuses on how it can determine children's personality traits later in life, and studies bear out the common stereotypes: the oldest child is generally smart and ambitious, while later-born kids are often more liberal, rebellious, and flexible.
And lo, the guilt! Now I know for sure that the baby won't have all the advantages of our oldest. Scientific proof that second kids totally get the shaft, and it can only lead to a life of crime. Especially because second children are often winners in the discipline lottery: another study notes that parents are more relaxed -- and lax -- the second time around.
We had our second child eight months ago, nearly four years after the birth of our daughter. We dote on both the kids, but the big girl definitely got more one-on-one time with both of us, with every mewl and giggle getting our full attention. But the baby? What, he's eating paper? Eh, it's just fiber, won't hurt him.
My family of origin is a perfect example of birth-order politics. As the eldest, I'm a very traditional kind of gal with a stick-in-the-mud attitude, while my middle sister is the peacemaker. My brother, they baby of our family, is the outlaw. While I only have two, I can definitely see my kids playing out these classic roles. This study opened my eyes to the ways I short-change the baby, and I plan to carve out more time for one-on-one interaction with him. Are you the responsible older sibling, or the carefree wild-child baby of the family? How does birth order influence your kids?
Strides in modern fertility science are changing and extending the definition of family. Just ask the parents of children conceived by sperm or egg donation, who are connected and forming bonds through their kids' genetic siblings. What would you do if your child had potentially hundreds of half-brothers and sisters? Would you want to know?
Your Kids Can Hang Out With Sasha and Malia (Kind of)
Just days after the inauguration, the makers of Beanie Babies introduced "Sweet Sasha" and "Marvelous Malia." Now they're valued at over $3,000 for the pair.
Getty Images
Malia, Sasha and the Luckiest Friend Ever Return From Camp David
The Obamas recently jaunted off to Camp David in Marine One, the president's swanky chopper. The girls and an unidentified friend are pictured here after landing on the South Lawn of the White House.
Getty Images
Sasha and Dad Take in a Show
President Obama took a night off from running the nation to hang out with the fam and watch the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater perform at the Kennedy Center.
Getty Images
Sasha Obama Takes Her Ugly Doll to School
The newest Obama trend, courtesy of Sasha, 7, is an Ugly Doll by the name of Babo's Bird. Photographed with the stuffed toy on her backpack, Sassy Sasha sure is trés-cool for school.
Callie Shell, HO/Change.gov
Malia and Sasha's Excellent Adventure
Malia, 10 (right) and Sasha, 7, wave to the crowd at the 2008 election night rally in Chicago. Politics are child's play to these sweethearts, and we can't wait to see them come into their own.
Jae C. Hong, AP
Sasha and Malia, kissing her mother Michelle, get ready for the first day of school in Washington, DC, as President-elect looks on. The Obama family are staying at the Hay Adams Hotel prior to their move into the White House.
Callie Shell, HO / Change.gov
More and more parents whose children were conceived using an anonymous sperm or egg donor are seeking the genetic siblings of their sons and daughters-and creating a new kind of extended family in the process.
Research shows that families who set out to find these far-flung siblings are motivated by curiosity and the urge to help their kids "enhance their sense of identity." Often, the seekers don't expect a close relationship; however, many of them form intense emotional bonds.
Wendy Kramer, 50, is the founder of the Donor Sibling Registry; she created the website as a means to find the genetic relatives of her donor-conceived son, Ryan, now 18. "We found that he had siblings when Ryan was 9 or 10," Kramer recalls. "It was the policy of the sperm bank not to say how many children that donor had helped to conceive, but someone told me by mistake that three families requested that my donor go back and re-donate, so they could have a second child."
In September of 2000, the Colorado mom formed a Yahoo! Group, and posted a message seeking information. After several false starts, an appearance on Oprah, and families who shied away from making a connection, Ryan finally met one of his half-sisters, Anna, during a 2007 visit to New York City.
The meeting was incredibly emotional -- and not just for Ryan and Anna. Kramer and Anna's mother also found themselves moved by the connection between their children.
Whether you have one child or eight, there is always somebody ready to pass judgment on your family-planning choices. Parents who choose to have a house full of kids are often blamed for contributing to overpopulation and accused of treating older siblings like unpaid nannies for the younger children. How could they possibly give all those children the love and attention they deserve?
In families with just one child, however, the criticism is just the opposite and often aimed at the kids themselves. Back in the late 1800's, psychologist Stanley Hall referred to being an only child as "a disease in itself" and for many, that prejudice remains. "Onlies," who who are the beneficiaries of their parent's undivided time and attention, must surely be spoiled and will no doubt grow up believing the world revolves around them.
Thanks to Jon and Kate and the Duggars, we've all gotten a glimpse at what goes on in large families. But what about only-child families? The old stereotypes persist and there is no reality show out there to shed some light on the subject.
If this happened to me, I know I would be pissed. Because, after all, what's the point of throwing your New Year's Eve away to have a kid if you don't get the full year's tax deduction for the year just ended? Well, Tarrance and Tangernika Woods at least got half their potential deduction -- Tangernika did give birth to a son, Tarrance Jr., on New Year's Eve.
She then went on to give birth to another Son, Tariq, on New Year's Day.
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Woman Goes Into Labor During Obama's Acceptance Speech
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Woman Conceives Triplets While on the Pill
The contraceptive didn't just fail, it really, really failed. But fortunately it was a pleasant surprise for the mom-to-be.
59-Year-Old Gives Birth to Triplets
At an age when many women are preparing to be grandmothers, fertility treatment gave this woman three babies of her own.
Japan's Oldest Surrogate Mother Carries Her Own Grandchild
At 61, this woman's age alone makes her story miraculous -- not to mention that she was giving birth to her granddaughter, and taking part in a procedure banned by the Japan Society of Obstetrics and Gynecology's.
Yep, Tarrance Jr. and Tariq are twins born on different days, in different months, and in different years. So Tariq will be able to say "Yes, we're twins, but I turned ten and he'll turn eleven this year." That will certainly get the conversation going at parties.
At least the boys, weighing five pounds seven ounces and five pounds fifteen ounces, are healthy, despite being born in different years. Congratulations to the parents!
The odds against having twins, one of whom appears black and the other white, are astronomical at best. It would require a specific set of circumstances and a whole lot of luck. It's the sort of thing that, even if you were able to do it once, you could never do again in a million years.
Unless, of course, you're Dean Durrant and Alison Spooner. The couple had twins Lauren and Hayleigh in 2001 whose skin and eye color were "strikingly different" -- one taking after their fair-skinned, blue-eyed mother and the other after their dark-skinned father. In November, the couple had another set of twins, once again with two very different skin colors.
Leah takes after her mother and her twin sister takes after her father. The twins were born prematurely in Southern England and are now home with their parents just outside of London. I don't know about these girls, but if I were one of them, I'd be having loads of fun confusing the heck out of people growing up.
After much ado about public vs. private and tony vs. progressive, the First Kids are set to start classes at Sidwell Friends School this Monday. (FYI: It's all of the above save the public part.)
Changing schools in the middle of the year is tough, changing schools without the benefit of your big (or little) sister in the same building is even tougher.
Malia and Sasha's Excellent Adventure
Malia, 10 (right) and Natasha "Sasha," 7, wave to the crowd at the 2008 election night rally in Chicago. Politics are child's play to these sweethearts, and we can't wait to see them come into their own.
Jae C. Hong, AP
Sasha and Malia, kissing her mother Michelle, get ready for the first day of school in Washington, DC, as President-elect looks on. The Obama family are staying at the Hay Adams Hotel prior to their move into the White House.
Callie Shell, HO / Change.gov
US President-elect Barack Obama orders shave ice treats with his daughter Malia and Sasha during an afternoon outing in December 2008 in Hawai'i Kai, HI.
Tim Sloan, AFP / Getty Images
The girls kept it casual on their Hawaiian vacation, enjoying days at the beach with friends and shaved ice treats and a dolphin show with their dad.
Bauer-Griffin / Getty Images
Malia gives Barack Obama a big hug -- followed by one from Sasha -- at the Honolulu Zoo on December 30, 2008.
Tim Sloan, AFP / Getty Images
Sasha (left) and Malia Obama stayed in Chicago for Thanksgiving 2008, squeezing in some volunteer work with their dad at a food bank at St. Columbanus Parish and School. The President-elect said he wants the girls "to learn the importance of how fortunate they are, and to make sure they're giving back."
Jim Watson, AFP / Getty Images
Sasha and Malia walk to school in Chicago after their father dropped them off in November 2008. Sasha takes gymnastics and tap classes while it's soccer, dance, drama and (by the looks of the case) flute for Malia.
Charles Dharapak, AP
The Obama family wave during a rally at the Ohio State House in Columbus, OH, two days prior to Barack's historic election to the White House.
Getty Images
The Obama clan leave a restaurant in Chicago in August 2008. We know where the President-elect stands on taxes and bailouts, but about comfort food vs cuisine?
Emmanuel Dunand, AFP / Getty Images
Barack Obama, his wife Michelle and their daughters, Sasha and Malia, take the stage during a May 2008 rally near the Iowa state capitol building in Des Moines.
Getty Images
With campuses in two locations -- the lower school is in the suburbs of Bethesda and the upper grades in northwest DC -- it doesn't look like second-grader Sasha will be with fifth-grader Malia.
The hardest part, we fear, is that these two sweet and poised girls will live the next four, eight or more years under the microscope of a collective mind with a seemingly unquenchable jones for schadenfreude. Though presidential kids generally escape the curse of the childhood spotlight, let's not overlook the public service of remembering that Malia and Sasha are just kids and allow them to grow up "normal."
If anyone is qualified to speak on matters of motherhood, it's a woman who has six children. Project Runway finalist Laura Bennett brought a half-dozen people into this world, and now she has a refreshing take on playing favorites with your kids.
Not only is it OK, Bennett says, it just might push your kids to work a little bit harder at succeeding, both as children and as adults. She cites one friend whose brother was so clearly the family favorite that it gave birth to a burning ambition in his sister, a drive that's served her well in the professional world.
Bennett reveals that she has "A List," and that her brood is well aware of her preferences at any given point -- so much so that they "compete" to be top of the heap.
As one of three kids, and the eldest, I am well aware of the dynamic of which Bennett speaks. For years I blackmailed my younger sister for telling me once, in a fit of pique, that "mom loves me best." Oh, man, did I get mileage out of that one.
We also had an inside joke about who was "No. 1" in my parents' eyes. While my sister was the favorite when we were younger, I held the title for nearly a decade during my 20s. My poor brother always comes in a distant third.
I have two kids of my own, and my daughter was an only child for many years. Now that she has a baby brother, she works a little harder to maintain her position in our family's rankings. While the baby's personality is still being revealed, I'm certain they will be different -- and therefore, I will react to them differently.
In my opinion, any parent who claims "I love them all the same" is an outright liar.
So what about you? Are you the favorite? Do you play favorites with your kids?
Fast on the heels of birthing her first child, Nicole Kidman is rip, roaring, ready to have another baby. Earlier this year the Academy Award-winning actress and her husband, hottie Country singer Keith Urban (yeah, he's a hottie--don't try to deny it, you know he is, rehab aside) welcomed baby girl Sunday Rose into the world, and is now keen on adding to her brood.
It's easy to see why Kidman would want to add to her family. Babies, quite frankly, are addictive. All the non-stop baby acquiring of the likes of the Jolie-Pitts aside, most moms I know will readily admit they are addicted to babies. Having them, loving them, all of that. Part of it might very well be chemical--the hormones that remain within a new mom after birth can linger for...OK, well, to me it seems like FOREVER, but they can linger, which makes those feelings of love and adoration for a new tot translate into the desire for more of them. This is not to mention that procreation is a basic instinct in humans as it is with all life forms, except for George Clooney, who seems to have no interest in making babies, sadly.
Another reason Nic may want to once again be in the family way? Babies are awesome. I look at my new daughter with all her fingers and toes and beautiful hair and think to myself what a true miracle life is. And, there's nothing like being a parent. No other experience can really compare. Nicole is even mildly considering putting her acting work on hold to focus on getting pregnant again and giving Sunday Rose another sibling (she already has older sister and brother Isabella and Connor from Kidman's marriage to Tom Cruise). You'll recall Angelina Jolie recently made a similar statement but has since naturally retracted that. Let's just hope that if Nic does have another baby she avoids naming him or her after another day of the week!
Funny guy and Saturday Night Live alum Adam Sandler welcomed a baby girl into the world earlier this month. The Don't Mess with the Zohan star and his wife, Jackie, are overjoyed at the birth of their second daughter, Sunny Madeline. At press time, mom and tot were both healthy and doing well. No info on weight or length was available to me at press time, but let's hope she wasn't too big and that the delivery was an easy one for mama Jackie.
Born November 2, Sunny joins her two-year-old sister Sadie, who is turning out to be quite the little lady! What I want to know is why with some celebrities we find out about the birth moments after it happens while with others we don't hear anything for several weeks. My guess? Some stars are more limelight seekers than others. As crazy as he is, Sandler seems like a family man and probably wants to keep his gals under wraps.
Also, what do we think of this name? I think it's cute, but out there--but not too out there. It works with Sadie and Sandler. And, I imagine both mama and papa's life got, well, a little bit sunnier, with Sunny in it! Congrats to Adam and Jackie!
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Hey, all you little brothers and sisters! Looking for ammunition against your parents? It's your lucky day -- a new study out of Brigham Young University shows that
Whether you have one child or eight, there is always somebody ready to pass judgment on your family-planning choices. Parents who choose to have a house full of kids are often blamed for contributing to overpopulation and accused of treating older siblings like unpaid nannies for the younger children. How could they possibly give all those children the love and attention they deserve?
The odds against having twins, one of whom appears black and the other white, are astronomical at best. It would require a specific set of circumstances and a whole lot of luck. It's the sort of thing that, even if you were able to do it once, you could never do again in a million years.
If anyone is qualified to speak on matters of motherhood, it's a woman who has six children. Project Runway finalist Laura Bennett brought a half-dozen people into this world, and now she has a refreshing take on 
